We human beings fall so very naturally into “either/or” thinking. Whatever I happen to be thinking about or experiencing, there always seems to be an “over-and-against” object to face or confront and either ignore, fight against, abhor, or try to change. This is true within as well as externally.

A LOT that I have read over the last number of years by any number of authors and resources discusses this problem and how to address it. Internally it can show up as a distaste (at least…) and sometimes hatred (many times…) of some aspect of who I am or things I have done, some of which I still do. Externally it shows up many, many ways and in differing degrees. Anywhere from a slight disgust or aversion to something or someone, to raging, blind hate and anger. However the so-called “Other” shows up in my experience or cognitive observation and classification (another thing humans excel at: classifying things and people to ensure we don’t have to work too hard at understanding them…..we HATE cognitive heavy-lifting, by and large). Those things inside me I work to change, lose, ignore or suppress.

Understanding myself as a whole person, encapsulating both light and shadow, is hard (and all of the degrees of grey…). It’s one of the main reasons why I have begun to appreciate the Taoist Yin-Yang symbol as a representation of the whole me. Another set of phrases, especially strong in my understanding of this truth, is settled in my memory by Richard Rohr. A quote of his that I have taped to my desk says, “The false self is not a bad self, it’s just not the true self.” The light and dark are both part of me, and I am totally loved, regardless. That, of course isn’t to say that I don’t endeavor to work for the enhancement and health of the light in myself, to the diminution of the shadow. But, I’m not working to cultivate the shadow, either.