Conversation

The Catnip of Storytelling

/ Jeff Hora / 1 Comment

It’s the time of year when some of the people you haven’t seen or heard from for awhile may reach out to get together or call or chat or send massive tomes as “Christmas Letters.” (Folks still write those, sometimes, it’s true….) I have a few folks for which this holds true, but there are a couple of old friends I’ve referred to in other posts that get together pretty regularly. We don’t run out of things to talk about, for sure. Aside from the usual catch-up, we have all these intervening years during which we didn’t really keep in touch, plus our shared youths, to consider and reconsider.

Add to this that all three of us are born storytellers, and you have the recipe for a lot of Really Long and Fascinating Conversations.

Graphic provided by CoPilot AI

What is it about telling stories versus just conveying events or facts that is so compelling to so many of us (and drives so many other people utterly bonkers….)? I feel there are several different things, some or all of which call to our story-telling breed inexorably. Some of them include:

  • The desire to provide context. The presentation of a simple data point begs (to me..) to place it in what I deduce as a position of context that provides a bit of understanding about what that data point can mean in the environment around it. While most data gets some kind of context, storytellers prefer to give it a LOT of context! This, however, doesn’t play well with the Severe PowerPoint set…..
  • Like begets like. When surrounded by other storytellers telling stories, it only feels natural to “fall into the pool” and do like likewise. It is a very comforting a life-giving place to be…
  • The story triggers vivid, irresistible memories.  These make it difficult to break off or wrap up the story. If well-told, your hearers are drawn along with you. Eventually you realize that you’ve been holding forth for quite awhile and wrap up the current discourse (I have been know to say, out loud “I need to stop talking now….“). This at least gives everyone a time to sit with the memories, or for another one of your storyteller friends to tee up one of their own.
  • Storytelling used to be how we conveyed knowledge, experience  and belief. Humankind didn’t always know how to write, or read, or anything like that. Verbal was the only way ANYTHING was passed on, and stories lend themselves easily to memory. So, we’re kind of built for it……

Each of those sits atop the next for someone like me. When I was busy working on my graduate degree, my wife (a Ph.D. scientist!) would read my work and come back to me with two primary kinds of feedback:

  • Help with my written grammar – I tend to write conversationally.
  • A single question: “What is your point here?”

The assistance was invaluable to me, both for the degree and in the following years. The single question she asked has served me well over time until retirement from the corporate world, and serves me well now when I find myself involved in situations that require me to tell a little less story with the conversation.

Nonetheless, storytelling is truly catnip for me (at least as defined as what catnip is to a cat with a serious catnip problem….I have a number of cats, so I know what that’s like….). I don’t know how much of a draw it is to others. I feel that some are more drawn to written storytelling (I have a few friends who are authors, and I see this in them), others to face-to-face conversation (enticing, plus there’s body language to express and observe….), and, thanks to all the story-telling technologies and platforms available now, many more who tell these stories in a lot of ways.

If you are a member of this tribe, leave a note in the comments with a pointer to where we can find and enjoy your stories!

Weasel Words

/ Jeff Hora / 2 Comments

I have been using a term, “weasel word”, in a way that has garnered a bit of attention and enough misunderstanding that I think I need to clarify my particular meaning.


First of all, in my most common usage, a weasel word is not a bad word. (A further definition, if you wish to read more about this term, can be found here…) Weasels have an occasional cultural and semantic reputation of being an animal to avoid. That is not the attribute I want to emphasize when I use this term in the context of clarity and further understanding in a conversation. I am more focused on the slipperiness and cunning of the animal. When I say or write “weasel word”, I imply that the word is hyper-subjective…. Slippery, if you will. There are any number of words that are NOT weasel words, if only because they are slightly better established in the commonality in our experience.


For example, if you say the word “cow”, I may not visualize the exact same animal you do, but somewhere in our experiences, whether Real Life experiences or exposure via the media in some way, initially we both know, at a basic level, the kind of animal we’re talking about (certainly, if the conversation is about cows and not just a passing reference, further definition may be desired….). This is more of a problem when words that are indicative of a concept or a belief, especially when utilized to persuade or convince, but can easily show up in daily conversation. Here are a few examples:

  • liberty
  • justice
  • law
  • love
  • illegal
  • constitution
  • evil
  • good
  • diversity
  • strong
  • weak

…and so on. In the context of a real conversation between people who wish to understand each other, if and when words like these come up (or any other words that make a person “jump up” internally and make them either uncomfortable or immovably established in their “solid” idea of what it means…), time needs to be taken to ask about what each other means and feels about the word or words, and listen. Even if the person doesn’t agree with the other’s definition, at the very least you can know what the other means when using that word or those words, and will make the conversation more productive. The chances of a slight re-think of your own definition may occur.


This whole ongoing process of noting and dealing with weasel words in our discourse, whether at home or in public in some way, can make you less likely to be easily manipulated by any person or organization trying to force you to react in some way. Work well worth doing.

Social Media, Engagement and Talking to the Right People – Best of August

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Fires and a Smoke-Storm

Fires and a Smoke-Storm

Well, summer’s ALMOST a “wrap!” Being stuck inside for the “smoke-storm” here in the Seattle area this past month (“cough, cough….”), I got to spend a lot of time online gathering the best articles for you all. You will note they don’t focus on a particular platform or service, but more so on social media overall, content, and how small businesses best grow engagement online.

Engagement

Engagement

The fact that you probably don’t have full-time staff to manage your social and digital media marketing doesn’t need to hamstring your effectiveness. Right-sized resources (especially time..) and the right kind of assistance can really help you get your efforts to pay off. This article hands you so top level tips to implement, and you don’t even have to stay up all night!

Social Media Platform

Social Media Platform

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INTERVIEW: Social Sapiens and the Seattle Shrimp Tank!

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Seattle Shrimp Tank pros and Me (Social Sapiens)

Seattle Shrimp Tank pros and Me (Social Sapiens)

I was asked recently to be interviewed on a podcast (of and for entrepreneurs and business owners…) of which I have been aware and have listened to a few times. Most of my familiarity with the content and tone of it, however, derived from my relationship with one of the co-hosts, Dan Weedin. Dan is a colleague, friend and fellow Rotarian, so familiarity bred a bit of lowered attention on my part, I admit.

Dan called recently and asked me if I would like to be interviewed for the Seattle Shrimp Tank podcast. It sounded like a load of fun, so I agreed.

Some of the things we talked about include:
  • Where did social media start, what’s going on with it today, and where is it going? (the short version!)
  • What is the importance of thinking about business goals, plans and strategies when considering digital marketing and hiring an expert to help?
  • How important is it to learn how to express yourself well online? What is the balance of listening, asking powerful questions, and understanding in developing an authentic and powerful online presence?
  • What else is there other than the “usual suspects” of social media (like Facebook, WhatsApp, Twitter, Yelp, Instagram, Pinterest and the like)? Is there more there?
  • What’s the right frequency to post online?
…and so much more. Check out the whole podcast here, and the shorter video follow-up here. We covered a lot of great questions and concerns.

If this interview brought up other questions for you about your business and professional presence online, please reach out to me and also look for some other information that’s relevant to you on my site here.

Listening: Attention or Intention?

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Attention Listening

Listening

“PAY ATTENTION!!!!!”

In your life, how many times have you heard that phrase, either from someone else or your internal voice? Shutting out distractions like noise, devices or the torrent of thoughts and imagination that the Buddhist tradition has termed the “monkey mind” seems nearly impossible. We slap ourselves internally in some fashion, and try to refocus on the speaker. This can be just as jarring as the distractions themselves!

Mindful Listening is really not about attention. It’s about intention. Let me explain how I understand and experience the difference.

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Listening is Hard

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Listening

Listening

As an intelligent business owner and entrepreneur in the 21st century, you are already very aware of the importance of listening to your customers, prospects and audience (your Visitors / Audience / Customers / Community (VACC): you can read more about what this looks like here …..). “Listen” is, however, a word that is subject to as many interpretations as there are ears…
Going a bit deeper, what kinds of listening are there that you can leverage?
Definitions of types of listening are as varied as there are authors of articles, books and consultancies whose purpose is to guide you to a solution that works for you and your business….a solution that results in the kind of success you’re looking for: that loyalty-balance of relationship quality and profitability, with credibility overall. It’s kind of like a combination of “the right tool(s) for the right job” and a high-wire balancing act.
  • listen-to-understand
  • listen-to-reply
Since every conversation only has 100% of the time allotted for it, whether it’s 20 minutes or 2 hours or more, more listening requires less talking.
So what does more listening actually do for this relationship you’re trying to build?
It is the key to building trust.

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Facebook Live Video and the Point – Best of February

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Live Streaming Video

Live Streaming Video

 

In the face of the January announcement by Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg, a LOT of brain power has been focused on just what this means for business. One of the early analyses posited that live video, already a big player online, will become even MORE important. Hence the Video heavy listing with this month’s edition of the BEST!

Start that LIVE VIDEO!

Start that LIVE VIDEO!

Like any valuable effort, you need to plan and prepare. Making streaming video is no exception, especially when it can be portrayed as “point-click-talk” by casual users. Your resources are valuable, and you need to spend a BIT MORE up front to GET MORE in the return!

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Setting Up for 2018 – Best of December

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Make the Leap to 2018

Make the Leap to 2018

The end of 2017 brings a focus to planning, strategy and change in the marketing teams of every business, whether you have an actual team or it’s just you, the solopreneur. This collection of the best of December articles reflects this focus and gives you the thoughts and processes for consideration as you launch into the new year.

Sincerity

Sincerity

This article about sincerity and dialogue in business is my most popular for 2017. The value of sincerity in business cannot be overstated, especially as building solid, long-term relationships with your customers is easily one of the most profitable things you can do.

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The Best Ways to Utilize Dialogue and Communication

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Dialogue and Communication

Dialogue and Communication

The articles, books and webinars / workshops focusing on communication (a term that is becoming more and more vague, actually…) are multiplying as rapidly as cat videos online, frankly.

Who to pay attention to? How many are publishing because it’s a way to get clicks, a way to push a new book or membership offer, and how many are really spending time standing upon the shoulders of the giants who have come before (or who are working now…) and seeking ways to execute on the most effective thoughts and frameworks to bring dialogue into our lives and businesses that will change things? Few have the time or patience to figure this out.

I must confess to being caught up in this myself. This goes way back for me, to my early days as a musician and composer. I have always been fascinated by how music can touch that part of a human being in a conversation that goes to a deeper place. We are simultaneously very complex and very simple. Truth, trust-building, the components, if you will, that comprise a close and meaningful relationship with someone are common across us all. While music is as individually interpreted as any other form of communication, the use of words can be more of a challenge due to internally established meanings and contexts for each person.

The complexity comes with what Anthony de Mello calls “our programming”. We are each utterly unique in our make-up and our experiences. As a result, how I react or “hear” something from you is quite likely to be different than how someone else does. Hence my focus on dialogue in all walks of life.

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Why Focus on Loyalty?

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Loyalty

Loyalty

Loyalty, always a high-sounding word, is ever more in the news and on our minds.

Whether it’s loyalty to a sports team, a political cause or ideology, a leader, a brand, a long-standing relationship, a coffee shop, or the family doctor, we seem to be more concerned with it and discuss it more than ever before.

I’ve been doing (and continue to dig into…) research on loyalty. Specifically, I am interested in:
  • What the drivers are for customer loyalty to businesses
  • How these drivers relate to relationship and dialogue stages
  • Factors / components that are online, off-line, and a blend of the two
  • Other components or influences that I have yet to uncover
While this will not be the “Unified Theory of Loyalty” (with apologies to physicists everywhere….), I wish to come to a clearer understanding of what establishes, builds and maintains this stance in customers and people in general. Humans are complex, absolutely unique individuals who, nonetheless, exhibit certain related behaviors and tendencies. If this were not so, the social sciences would have to just fold up their collective tents and take up hospitality management.

As I continue to research this topic and make discoveries, I will be writing about them here first. The eventual end-product is likely to be a paper, some podcasts, a video or two….likely a combination of all of the above.

So stay tuned!

Now, having gotten the preface out of the way, let me get to the first bit:

Why Loyalty?

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