Solid Ambiguity

Graphic by CoPilot AI

I may be remembering the timing incorrectly, but it seems like early in my corporate career (started at the end of 1997…) a LOT of companies were publishing job descriptions, especially when posting jobs internally or on the fairly new Internet, with one of the desired traits/skills being “to be comfortable with ambiguity”. I feel that being COMFORTABLE with ambiguity is different from being able to HANDLE ambiguity. The latter is probably the best that most of us can muster. I’ve have never, in my life, met someone who is “comfortable” with ambiguity. Every one of us seeks stability and certainty of some degree in a good chunk of our lives. Ambiguity is the speed bump you didn’t see, the change in weather on the day you were counting on it being nice, the change in plans for a day, etc. Look around you, every moment. Ambiguity abounds. (A good friend of mine wrote a blog post about this kind of expectation/schedule yanking at https://steveawiggins.com/2026/05/07/snowballs-in-spring/)

So there’s this tension we need to be aware of and learn to accept instead of ignore or react violently to. Holding each moment as distinct and not everlasting, realizing the next one is already upon us and is different than the last one. That the chances that the next moment will be as we expect, according to habit, pattern, or what we think we know, are variable.

I’ve been reading a lot of books by Brian Greene and others about quantum sciences, cosmology, and a lot of other truly fascinating (at least it is to me….) stuff. In between that and a lot of reading concerning Christian mysticism, other belief systems including Buddhism and Native Nations’ spiritual experiences and cultures leads me to believe that the reality of the mutability of each moment and awareness of that is something that relieves this tension. Acceptance and awareness, coupled with a growing realization of how this all fits together in Ecology and Cosmology.

So, I came up with a concept that allows me to hold this kind of somewhat paradoxical sense to myself. I call it SOLID AMBIGUITY. Why “solid”? Good question. That word communicates to me the picture of something that I can rely on, a very real trait of ambiguity. Right now I’m sitting in my Office/Man Cave at home. I am fortunate enough to have 4 windows here on the second floor that look directly into the trees nearby our home. The sun is out (not a REALLY consistent occurrence here in the Pacific Northwest in Spring, so enjoy it!) and the trees are full of life. I’m listening to music (of course I am…)…right now; the group Snarky Puppy, and music by Steve Reich is cued up shortly. My body is not too achy (a nice state of things that I do NOT take for granted anymore…).

Each and every one of these items (along with the untold number of others that pass by and change every moment) changes…solid ambiguity. I can count on it. Most are pretty ignorable (teeny tiny things or “expected” items that flow past). When a big change takes place like, say, a completely unforeseen gust of wind blows through and causes one of the trees I’m looking at to keel over, I can be startled. Being in the moment allows me to take that in, be mindful of my being Right Now, confront what my response should be, and over it all allow the center of my being take the stance of “Well, THAT happened…”. I need not concern myself with the event of that past moment. I can focus on the moment I’m in so I can pay attention to the time and space surrounding me now.

Everything that I’m describing is woefully inadequate to the experience. Paying attention to as much of everything in and around me is impossible to describe. There’s too much. However, the experience and discipline is there. The moment opens itself. I believe it was Thomas Merton who wrote that each moment is pregnant with the next. Pregnancy implies new life, and new life is exciting and certainly worth being grateful for.

The Whole Deal

Graphic by CoPilot AI

We human beings fall so very naturally into “either/or” thinking. Whatever I happen to be thinking about or experiencing, there always seems to be an “over-and-against” object to face or confront and either ignore, fight against, abhor, or try to change. This is true within as well as externally.

A LOT that I have read over the last number of years by any number of authors and resources discusses this problem and how to address it. Internally it can show up as a distaste (at least…) and sometimes hatred (many times…) of some aspect of who I am or things I have done, some of which I still do. Externally it shows up many, many ways and in differing degrees. Anywhere from a slight disgust or aversion to something or someone, to raging, blind hate and anger. However the so-called “Other” shows up in my experience or cognitive observation and classification (another thing humans excel at: classifying things and people to ensure we don’t have to work too hard at understanding them…..we HATE cognitive heavy-lifting, by and large). Those things inside me I work to change, lose, ignore or suppress.

Understanding myself as a whole person, encapsulating both light and shadow, is hard (and all of the degrees of grey…). It’s one of the main reasons why I have begun to appreciate the Taoist Yin-Yang symbol as a representation of the whole me. Another set of phrases, especially strong in my understanding of this truth, is settled in my memory by Richard Rohr. A quote of his that I have taped to my desk says, “The false self is not a bad self, it’s just not the true self.” The light and dark are both part of me, and I am totally loved, regardless. That, of course isn’t to say that I don’t endeavor to work for the enhancement and health of the light in myself, to the diminution of the shadow. But, I’m not working to cultivate the shadow, either.