The longer I live and the more avenues we all have to “converse” with each other or to the broad public arena, the more I feel like language ties us up. It can feel like going out into the woods and going “Boo-ge-da, Boo-ge-da!” to the trees.

Language is so part and parcel of our experience, each of which is singular and unique, that crafting communication to clarity seems harder and harder. Here’s an example I like to use:

Let’s say that I sit down with a new acquaintance and she tells me that she has two dogs. Here are the two dogs that I visualize:

However, here are the two dogs she loves and cares for:

…and…

Now, as we continue to get to know each other, and as often as the subject of her dogs comes up in our chatting, I may gain a better idea of what her dogs are really like. However, my first internal impression is still there, even if it starts to evolve to a closer view of the truth.

If this is any indication of how something as basic as “dog” can get misinterpreted, here are a few words that have even greater latitude in interpretation and personal/cultural definitions:

• Work

• Freedom

• Family

• Father

• Mother

• Boss

• Dangerous

• Sickness

• Rich

• Poor

• God

• Socialist

• Fascist

• Vote

• Neighbor

• Home

• City/Town

• Country (meaning either Nation or Rural)

….and so on. Needless to say, any one of these words and concepts can drive a terrific conversation. A number of years ago, well before I received my Master of Communication from the University of Washington, I grew fascinated by how humans communicate, manipulate, and shape discussion. Since then I’ve nurtured my deepening fascination for quantum science, philosophy, and theology.

These all inform each other. I keep uncovering what I feel are really cool cross-meanings and enlightening points of view that help me to further my journey. I will never understand it all (especially the quantum science, but a deep bow is due to Brian Greene and his books….they lead me through the quantum briar patch better than most….).

The “Gaps” I refer to in the title to this post are the gaps in clarity and understanding that we, as humans, ignore at our peril. I deeply believe that part of the course we need to navigate in this world, and especially here in the United States, is one of “Minding the Gap(s)” in the understanding and empathy with all the members of our community.

“Holy Crap!” you might rightly exclaim. “That’s not a cognitive stance I can take with everyone!!!”

Well, no, probably not. It’s hard work and tends to take more time in an interchange than our rushed and breathless lives will allow. So, start small…start with someone close to you, that you interact with most every day.

In many ways, this will be a harder task, because, if you really are with them a lot every day, you’re used to a lot of conversational assumptions, which is pretty normal. There are, so to say, more gaps to mind. So, if you need to, choose another person. Listen in an open way, not busy composing what you will say or reply in return while you “listen”. Again, not easy, as it isn’t part of what we do naturally as humans, and certainly not part of your normal discourse, but give it a shot. Listen openly……ask clarifying questions (“HOW BIG is your first dog? WOW!!!”). Listen to the tone of her voice. Pay attention to facial expressions and body language (tough to do online, for sure, hence our challenges communicating there…more on that at a later time).

Each gap you mind will uncover additional gaps, for sure. Just going deeper with one person is a lifetime process. Broadening the effort to others will clear and uncover immeasurable other gaps. It’s all good. You’re deepening your relationships with those around you and gaining an understanding and empathy you can’t get any other way.

So, if you’re always trying figure out what’s going on, this can be an important part of the journey for you. It has been for me, so far….