A Starting Point on Spiritual Direction

I am an explainer and a storyteller. What that can mean, as many who know me well can attest to, is that many times, when asked a question that I feel needs some context to understand, my answer can be long and seem convoluted (kind of like this sentence…). I’m not a bullet-point kind of guy (although I have gotten a little better at this over the years, to the relief of my family and friends…).

Why do I mention this? Well, I am a spiritual director (and have been for 13 years), and I want to frame the reasons why I have a hard time giving a succinct answer to the question, “What is spiritual direction?” I would like to share a few quotes by authors and spiritual directors that provide a starting point for understanding / dialogue:
“The whole purpose of spiritual direction is to penetrate beneath the surface of a person’s life, to get behind the façade of conventional gestures and attitudes which one presents to the world, and to bring out one’s inner spiritual freedom, one’s inmost truth, which is what [Christians] call the likeness of Christ in one’s soul.  This is an entirely supernatural (spiritual) thing, for the work of rescuing the inner person from automatism belongs first of all to the Holy Spirit.”
“Spiritual direction is, in reality, nothing more than a way of leading us to see and obey the real Director — the Holy Spirit hidden in the depths of our soul.” – Thomas Merton, Trappist monk, USA (both quotes)
“We define Christian spiritual direction as help given by one Christian to another which enables that person to pay attention to God’s personal communication to him or her, to respond to this personally communicating God, to grow in intimacy with this God, and to live out the consequences of the relationship.” – William A. Barry, SJ and William J. Connolly, SJ, Center for Religious Development, Cambridge, Massachusetts, USA
“The greatest teacher is silence. To come out of interior silence and to practice its radiance, its love, its concern for others, its submission to God’s will, its trust in God even in tragic situations is the fruit of living from your inmost center, from the contemplative space within. The signs of coming from this space are a peace that is rarely upset by events, other people and our reactions to them, and a calm that is a stabilizing force in whatever environment you may be in. God gives us everything we need to be happy in the present moment, no matter what the evidence to the contrary may be. A good spiritual director helps us to sustain that trust.” – Father Thomas Keating
A little over 2 years ago, I was approached by my pastor and our Synod to consider being trained as a Discipleship Coach (a program that is also referred to as From Promise to Practice or FP2P). Being unsure what this was, I asked for and received some clarification from several parties. This was helpful, as my first default visualization of the word “coach” was a picture of the famous football coach Vince Lombardi going after one of his players.

Vince Lombardi

Vince Lombardi

 Needless to say, that was unnerving. Certainly not my idea of my own or any else’s journey as a follower of Christ! Fortunately, I was completely wrong in that visualization, for which I am thankful.

While there are a few differences between spiritual direction and discipleship coaching, the role and call are really the same:
  • The role of the directee or person being coached is first of all to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s movement in your life, calling you to a deeper, closer relationship with God, but desiring someone to “walk with you” and help you to pay attention to what God is doing
  • The role of the director (I prefer spiritual companion or friend) or coach is to be that person. It is a calling and a ministry.
From a more Lutheran perspective, consider the baptismal covenant for what the life of a disciple looks like:

Do you intend to continue in the covenant God made with you in holy baptism:
                to live among God’s faithful people,
                to hear the word of God and share in the Lord’s supper,
                to proclaim the good news of God in Christ through word and deed,
                to serve all people, following the example of Jesus,
                and to strive for justice and peace in all the earth? (Evangelical Lutheran Worship, p. 236)
RESPONSE:  We (I) do, and ask God to help and guide us (me).

We know that baptism is not a “one and done” thing. It shapes who we are every moment, as there is no moment when we are not held and helped by God. This world, however, is constantly a-swirl and confronts us with confusing and conflicting messages and scenarios. Remaining mindful of God’s Presence, aiming to be intentional in our relationships and actions, is a real challenge. Discerning what our next move is, how to handle the good, the bad, and the ugly every day and not feel like we’re completely lost (or even just neutral…) is hard.

There can come a time when it would be just plain helpful to have someone we could get together with pretty regularly and be able to go over what’s going on your life. Spiritual direction, or discipleship coaching, is NOT counseling or therapy. In spiritual direction, the relationship is about the person “in direction” and God, and how that’s going. The director is there to “notice” and accompany that person along the way, being helpful and aware of what God is doing, especially if the person is kind of in the middle of it all and is trying to make sense of it. This is NOT a hierarchical relationship (God is in control, not the director!)!

One last thing to mention: this is NOT a new thing. While the most popular example of guidelines given for spiritual direction are the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius of Loyola (written around 1524), the descriptions of Jesus serving as a mentor to his disciples, Paul mentoring Timothy and Titus, and John Cassian (4th century) providing some of the earliest direction guidelines show a long history of this ministry and role in the church. It has been more visible in the past 50 years as Christians have become more and more attuned to their desire to deepen their relationship with God and the Spirit has responded through the church by drawing more and more people into this ministry and role.

Spiritual direction, among many, many other topics, is an area of interest for me and I intend to share how this has changed my way of being and what my ongoing experiences are like. Thanks for sharing this with me.

Surveys: Tell Me What You REALLY Think!

Survey Results

Survey Results

Surveys are notorious, from both sides of the subject… 

As someone who gets at least a survey per week in my mail, I respond to very few of them. Sometimes it’s because I’m just plain busy when I first see it, and it feels like a drag on my time (the DELETE key is so very tempting…). Other times it comes from a source I almost never hear from, so I wonder why (s)he wants me to give them input now, when I’ve gotten so little from them of value to date. However, when I do respond, it is usually to a person or organization from whom I’ve gotten some kind of value over time, it is tightly proscribed (that is, won’t take longer than a couple of minutes to complete….), and concerns topics that I care about.

As a business owner and blogger, I take these motivations and concerns into account when creating surveys. During the month of November I ran a survey for those who subscribe to my newsletter and regularly read my blog. The single question was:

What are the topics you wish to learn more about to help you in your business? 

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Setting Up for 2018 – Best of December

Make the Leap to 2018

Make the Leap to 2018

The end of 2017 brings a focus to planning, strategy and change in the marketing teams of every business, whether you have an actual team or it’s just you, the solopreneur. This collection of the best of December articles reflects this focus and gives you the thoughts and processes for consideration as you launch into the new year.

Sincerity

Sincerity

This article about sincerity and dialogue in business is my most popular for 2017. The value of sincerity in business cannot be overstated, especially as building solid, long-term relationships with your customers is easily one of the most profitable things you can do.

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Where Should I Be? – The Case for Facebook

Facebook

Facebook

OK, so you’ve done all the heavy lifting research about your market, your products and services, and your audiences.

You’ve worked closely with your marketing lead (either your own or a trust-worthy consultant…), deciding that digital marketing is a key component of your plan. Now you have arrived at the question that bedevils a LOT of small businesses:
Which social media platform (or platforms…) should I choose?

This is more than just a familiarity choice. This decision must be based upon:
  • What are your goals for your digital marketing?
  • Where are the bulk of your customers / audience?
  • How and where do you your customers / audience prefer to consume content?
  • What are the resources you have to devote to executing the plan?
There are many reasons to go with one or another platform, or more than one!

With this article I’m starting a series of articles (one platform per article over a few months…) that will give you some data, some analysis, some rationale, and a few recommendations. Each article will help you make that fateful decision:

Do I spend my limited and valuable resources on THIS platform, or not….or What?

First, the proverbial “Elephant in the Room”….

FACEBOOK

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STORY: A Must-Have for your Facebook Business Page

Tell Your Story

Tell Your Story

There are a LOT of things that make for a successful Business page on Facebook. 
Books and entire web sites (and businesses!) are devoted to staying on top of the almost daily churn of what works best for your business.
There is no “one size fits all”. However, there are a few things you can do, regardless of your business, to check a few of the boxes towards having an effective business page.
So, What’s Your Story?
The ABOUT tab on your page is one of the most important parts of the page you will neglect. There are two spots on that tab where you can enhance your discoverability and help visitors get to know you.

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Content Ideas and the Holidays – Best of November

The Holidays are Here!

The Holidays are Here!

Well, here we are….

It’s after Thanksgiving and before the twin end-of-the-year holidays of Christmas and New Year’s Day. If you’re like me you already have a lot going on, both in your business AND in your personal life (all those holiday get-togethers, plus trying NOT to gain, like, 50 pounds thanks to all the food involved…)! You’re probably wrapping up your 2018 business and marketing plan, executing on the holiday marketing and delivery, and trying to keep the cat(s) out of the tree. Still want to keep up on what’s happening in the digital marketing world? You KNOW it impacts your business and has knock-on effects on your plans, right? I thought so….
So here are my recommendations for the TOP articles from November to help you stay on top of it all!

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The Best Ways to Utilize Dialogue and Communication

Dialogue and Communication

Dialogue and Communication

The articles, books and webinars / workshops focusing on communication (a term that is becoming more and more vague, actually…) are multiplying as rapidly as cat videos online, frankly.

Who to pay attention to? How many are publishing because it’s a way to get clicks, a way to push a new book or membership offer, and how many are really spending time standing upon the shoulders of the giants who have come before (or who are working now…) and seeking ways to execute on the most effective thoughts and frameworks to bring dialogue into our lives and businesses that will change things? Few have the time or patience to figure this out.

I must confess to being caught up in this myself. This goes way back for me, to my early days as a musician and composer. I have always been fascinated by how music can touch that part of a human being in a conversation that goes to a deeper place. We are simultaneously very complex and very simple. Truth, trust-building, the components, if you will, that comprise a close and meaningful relationship with someone are common across us all. While music is as individually interpreted as any other form of communication, the use of words can be more of a challenge due to internally established meanings and contexts for each person.

The complexity comes with what Anthony de Mello calls “our programming”. We are each utterly unique in our make-up and our experiences. As a result, how I react or “hear” something from you is quite likely to be different than how someone else does. Hence my focus on dialogue in all walks of life.

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Mindfulness and Taking Stock

Mindfulness

Mindfulness

This past week was a good and difficult one.
One of the hard bits was working to get five + days of work done in three, as I had scheduled Thursday and Friday off to celebrate my anniversary and birthday. I work to do this every year and have been pretty successful to date, although banishing work from my mind is always a challenge as an entrepreneur. Still, it was good to get away from the screens and focus on each day and the moments each held, along with the commemoration activities.
I focus on this set of events for a couple of reasons.
First, I wish to celebrate life and relationships, and this is another way to mark them as memorable and life-giving.
Second, this particular birthday gives me pause. I am now the age my father was when he was consumed by cancer and died. That, along with the near approaching anniversary of the death of my younger brother in two weeks, I am particularly aware of being present in each moment and how this manifests itself in my “normal activities”…..”normal activities” being the usual, rather mundane things of every day.
You may be thinking (if you’ve read this far..), “Why is he writing about this on a business blog?” A fair question…

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Survey Says!!

Survey
The best way to find out what your customers are looking for from you is ASK THEM, Right?! Well, that’s the message this week.

I’ve written frequently about the importance of really listening to your customers and acting on what you hear. Now you have your chance to participate, and I have a chance to “Walk The Talk”: I am announcing the first ever survey for my blog.  The objective is to provide you with more of the kind of information and conversation you actually find valuable to you and your business.

As I look at the articles for this year that have been the most read, the Top Five are:

 

 

 

 

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Loyalty, Customer Experience, and the Death of Your Business

Customer Experience

Customer Experience

The deeper I get into the research concerning customer loyalty and engagement, the more it is pounded into me that it centers on Customer Experience (CX for short). The kicker about CX is that, while there are certain common factors and processes that carry across most customers and audiences, it really is an individual experience with you and your business. What does this mean?

First let’s look at the percentage of Loyal customers / audience you already have. Recent studies propose that you may have between 8%-15% customers that can be considered Loyal (your mileage may vary, especially given the differences in businesses: e.g. a coffee shop may have a greater opportunity for “regular” loyalty than a real estate office…). Let’s posit that your customers (a) DO have the opportunity, given your product / service, to purchase from you again within 12 months (and can certainly REFER you at any time!), and (b) this product /service is of value to them and at a fair price. The end-to-end CX for them has been better-than-just-positive overall, hence their loyalty. Their post-purchase experience has also been “positive+” (better than just OK…).

As it turns out, that bit is very important! 

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